Anticipation.

so excited!

693.

That is how many days it has been since I hugged and cried with by friend at the airport before boarding the flight that would end my journey in Pasadena. I cried a lot that day in July- before, during and after the flight- and there have been many many more tears since then. Although my husband has been back to the US for work trips several times since then, I have, for various (mainly financial) reasons, always stayed back in Germany. Moving abroad is hard, especially when it means leaving great friends and family behind. Having a baby abroad takes your homesickness to an entirely new level.

We recently purchased airfare to return back to the USA for a nice long visit (7 weeks!) in December – January. I couldn’t be more thrilled about this trip.

So much has changed since we left! There are at least 4 new babies of my closest friends that will have been born, not to mention my own precious daughter who will be a year old when she spends her first time on US soil and finally gets to meet 4 (of 6) of her Grandparents for the first time, along with countless family and friends.

It’s still many months away, but I am already filling my days making mental lists of all the people I want to hug, foods I want to eat (Mexican! Panera! American Pizza!), and places I want to visit during our trip. It gets me giddy and brings an instant smile to my face just thinking about it.

And yet there is a part of me that just aches because it has been so long; and, although I want to visit more than anything else right now, I know that it will go too fast and that it will be hard, especially at the end when we have to leave again, once again not knowing when we will return. There’s a part of me that already knows deep down that the visit, especially the time in Pasadena, will be too short. But I have to force myself to focus on the positive, on the things I can control. I’m choosing to be excited for the trip to come and you better believe I’m going to do everything in my power to savor and enjoy each and every second of those too short days.

234.

That is how many days that are left until I can hug that same friend that I left at the airport again. And I plan on doing just that. And yes, there will probably be more tears. And I can’t wait.

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