The lion tamer and his little cub

One thing that new parents learn shortly after they bring home their newborn bundle of joy is that leaving the house suddenly takes A LOT longer than it did before. Forget rushing out the door at the last minute and still making that movie, church service, or appointment. There is just no way that is going to happen. No sir. Even walking outside the front door becomes more complicated when the baby arrives. There are diaper bags to be packed, strollers to be readied, a baby to dress and bundle up for the cold weather, etc. And, when all that is figured out, nine out of ten times you still can’t quite leave because there is now a baby who needs a diaper change or is hungry. Oh yes, I imagine that from an outsider’s perspective it can seem quite the circus sometimes.

For us in Germany, leaving the house is only the first act. We gave up the luxury of our car when we moved abroad- mainly for financial reasons, also because we just didn’t see the need for it with the abundance of public transportation here in Hannover. What we didn’t realize was just how much more complicated things would get without said car after the baby arrived. We are managing fine, but it’s a challenge! The trip into town that used to take us 15 minutes from our apartment door, now takes at least an hour as all of a sudden we must deal with rain and wind and snow gear not only for ourselves, but for the baby and stroller as well. Not to mention the run around like police dogs on a drug bust we find ourselves in while searching for stroller friendly elevators in metro stations. And, with an infant who nurses every 2 hours, by the time we actually get anywhere we must switch gears to “where can we nurse” mode. All of a sudden the few little shops and cafes and that park within walking distance of our apartment have all become much more attractive. Funny how an infant does that.

Needless to say, we aren’t getting out much these days. I imagine things will improve quite a bit as we polish our routines, our little one gets a bit older, and the weather improves; but for now, it’s a circus all right, and I’m the ringleader.

Moriah's U3 Apointment

Children in Germany generally have nine check-ups with a doctor- the first taking place immediately after birth, the last one happening around the time they are 5 years old. In addition, there is also an adolescence check-up when they are 12 or 13 years old. These appointments, or Vorsorgeuntersuchungen, are commonly referred to as U1, U2, U3 and so on, and are recorded in a little yellow booklet- similar to the Mutterpass- that the child is given at the first appointment. The front cover of the booklet contains the exact dates that each appointment should take place, according to their age. You can read more about what happens at each appointment here.

Moriah’s U1 was completed the night she was born; her U2 took place in the hospital right before we went home when she was three days old. Her U3 appointment didn’t take place until she was weeks old, but that doesn’t mean we were on our own until then…

Enter the midwife.

Moriah gets weighed by our midwife

In Germany it is standard care to have a midwife visit at your home after the birth of a child. The midwife will weigh the baby to make sure they are gaining weight, check the health of the mom, offer breast feeding support, and answer questions the new family may have related to the baby, parenting, etc. Those with the standard German health insurance are entitled to visits paid by insurance every day for the first 10 days of the child’s life and then as needed after that- generally up to 16 more visits. The midwives are also on call 24/7 and you can call them whenever you need. How wonderful is that! As we don’t have the standard German health insurance and we therefore paying out of pocket for these visits we chose to only schedule visits when we felt we needed them which ended up being a total of three visits- once before the baby was born to meet the midwife / ask some questions about German birthing procedures, once two days after we got home from the hospital, and the final one about a week later when I needed some help with an infection I got related to nursing. Even with just the three visits, I found it to be a great help to have someone available to answer questions when things got challenging with nursing, and a nice reassurance when our girl was weighed and it was confirmed she was doing well. It was also great that the midwife came to our home- especially since Moriah was born in winter!

I’m back! And proud to have added a new title to my identity: Blue Cakes Blogger: wife, blogger… and mother. And, although I’m exhausted, have no idea what day it is, and still feeling like I’m a machine working on autopilot (change diaper, nurse, burp, change diaper, play, rock to sleep, repeat), I can say with all certainty that motherhood is truly a blessing. We’re head over heels with our little lady and enjoying our new life as a family of four.

In honor of our new addition, and as many have requested, I’ll naturally be spending some time on this blog discussing and reflecting on my experiences in motherhood as part of my life as an American in Germany. I’ll begin today by sharing some thoughts on giving birth in Germany. Of course, as I’ve never had a baby in the US, I can only share my experiences here in Germany.

Overall, I am satisfied with the way things were handled during our hospital experience associated with Moriah’s birth. In fact, up until things got a bit challenging during the final stages of delivery and I found myself surrounded by 2 doctors and a midwife, I could hardly even tell I was in a hospital at all. (For those wondering- Moriah was positioned in an unnatural way making for a very long and difficult second stage of labor).

It probably help that when we arrived, I was the only woman in labor in the entire hospital so things were very calm. I had a midwife with me throughout the labor and delivery pretty much at all times. The first midwife we had was just wonderful and spoke excellent English, the second midwife, who took over for the first when her shift ended, was a bit less friendly and didn’t speak English very well, but we managed fine.

I really appreciated that the midwives were so encouraging towards natural methods of childbirth. Childbirth is truly seen as a natural event in Germany, and not made into a medical procedure as it often is in the US. Even when the pain got really intense and I questioned my ability to continue, they lovingly encouraged me to continue on without an epidural (although for the record, I could have had one if I had really wanted one)- I never had one.  I did take advantage of some of the natural methods they suggested (using the birth tub during labor, soft lights, music, etc.) and found those really nice to have available.

The doctors were just as calm in their thinking and did everything in their power to keep things as natural as possible, intervening only as absolutely necessary. They were also patient with the process, which is something I am extremely grateful for. They didn’t rush me into a C-section when things got challenging and they realized that the baby was in an unnatural position. Instead, after making sure the baby was OK, they gave it time and worked together and with me to get her out. I was recently told at my follow up doctor’s appointment that I was very lucky my delivery didn’t end in a C-section, as it was very close- thank God for that!

After Moriah was born, she was immediately handed to me- she wasn’t rushed over to be weighed, measured, or bathed nor was she given goop in her eyes or shots. That was done a couple hours later (well, minus the eye good and shot- they don’t do that in Germany). The priority after she was here was bonding and nursing. Drew and I were given about 2 hours of time in the delivery room as a family to get used to each other, which was nice.

Something that wasn’t so nice was that I was unable to have a private or family room for the first night- we asked, but there weren’t any available. So, a few hours after Moriah was born, I was wheeled into a four-bed room, which at the time had two other ladies staying in it. And, as babies room in with the mothers in Germany, there were also two other newborns “sleeping” there too- plus Moriah. The room was completely open- no privacy curtains or walls at all. Drew stayed a few minutes to get me settled and then, around 3am, had to head home for the night. It was a very rough night to say the least, but we survived. We were so thankful when, the following evening, we discovered that a family room had opened up and we were able to move into that room as a family. We stayed there for 2 more nights and Drew was able join us- he had his own bed next to mine and was also given meals, which was nice.

All in all we were in the hospital for 3 nights. Moriah was born at 11:55pm on a Saturday and we came home the following Tuesday in the late afternoon after her U2 doctor’s appointment.

Looking back, it’s all still sort of a dream. If you would have asked me just a couple years ago where our first child would be born I would have probably told you Pasadena, CA, or perhaps somewhere in the UK as we had imagined moving there at once for my husband’s job. I definitely wouldn’t have guessed that I would be sitting here now blogging about having a baby in Germany! Life is crazy that way- it takes you by surprise sometime. But, that’s the the grand adventure and fun of it all.

Well, that’s all I can write for now. (It’s taken me almost a week to write this much so I better post it now that I have the chance! Newborns sure do take up your time!) Next time I write I’ll explain more about midwife and doctor’s visits for newborns here in Germany…

The BlueCakes household is proud to introduce our newest member:

Moriah Rose

born December 3rd, 2011

We are absolutely in love.

I’ll be going on blogger maternity leave for a while now so we can take time to adjust to our little one and savor every moment. I look forward to sharing more about our hospital / birth /newborn experience when I return.

Until then!

oh! and in case you were wondering what happened to our friend the pine-cone…

(I won!) Drew took pity on the pine-cone about a week ago and “induced labor” with a hairdryer. It is now the proud parent of about 100 little pine nuts.

(Image Credit: Flicker- Cathdew)

It’s already December, which means today makes my 12^th and final GOAL post. Can you believe how quickly the year has gone by?

I realized a few weeks ago that I may not be representing our GOAL list accurately as I have focused on those GOALs we have actually completed, or at least made progress towards this year. So this month in order to be fully transparent, I’m changing it up.

There are a good number of GOALs in 2011 that Drew and I will not be crossing of our list this year. Some of them we lost interest in, others we attempted but failed, and others we simply ran out of time to do.

This year I had the GOAL of completing a set of DSLR camera lessons that I purchased a while back. The lessons include reading and homework assignments and, although there is an online website and teach, they are to be completed at your own pace- which is a good thing, because I seem to be taking my time on them!

I had really hoped to finish up the lessons and spend some quality time getting to know my camera better. I love taking pictures and I would love to someday be able to take better ones. So, it’s not that I’ve lost interest; it’s just that going through the lessons takes a lot of time (a couple weeks at least before you are ready to move to the next one), and it got moved down the priority list few times this year while things like pregnancy took over and rose to the top. Oh well.

I plan to put it on the list again next year. I imagine I will be taking quite a few pictures of the little one, so perhaps that will help inspire me a bit.

A few of the other items not crossed off the list in 2011: make a pineapple upside-down cake (forgot about it and then lost interest), go on an overnight bike trip (ran out of time in the warm season- someday!), and learn to cook Asian food (hmmm… we went to China, and ate a lot of Asian food- does that count?). We’ll see if any of these make next year’s list, I’m not sure.

It’s like that every year with our list. And, you know what I think about that? Who cares! If us list-makers only always made lists of things that we could guarantee we would cross of that list… life would be pretty boring. I prefer to dream big and push myself. And with that comes accepting that sometimes it just doesn’t happen.

I hope you’ve enjoyed these little Glimpses Of our Annual List this year that they have even perhaps encouraged some of you to try making your own GOAL lists. It’s all about having fun and challenging yourself. If you didn’t make a list in 2010, you’re in luck because there is another chance coming up soon. 2012 is just around the corner… what do you have to lose?

We were doomed. We had finally secured an apartment in Hannover and then we realized- there were no dryer hook-ups in our new abode. To us, this meant no more hot towels, no more quick loads of laundry. Germany had taken over every aspect of our household life, including routine chores. After the initial disappointment which, to be honest, didn’t last very long at all- we sucked it up, made friends with the close lines in our attic and tried our best to adjust to our new and dryer-free life.

Things were going well and we got used to hanging our clothes on the line, waiting a day (or three sometimes in winter months) for them to dry, and doing what the Germans did. We were even a bit proud of ourselves for “going green” and doing our part to help the environment just a bit.

Then we tired line drying our terry cloth towels.

Oh, no. That just wouldn’t do! Our once soft and fluffy post shower warmth bringers were now hard and matted. We tired to cope for a while, but then we gave in. We compromised. We still line dried our clothing (it’s really not that bad), but we began collecting our sheets and towels in a basket. And, every other week we would spend an entire day doing 3 or 4 loads of towels of sheets in the wash, (our washer takes just under 2.5 hours to run on the quickest cycle), and then load them up and trek over to the laundromat about two blocks away, fork over some change and dry those linens. It took time and effort, but it was worth it to us and we don’t regret it one bit.

About a month ago our happy little towel drying routine came to a crashing halt when as usual, we went one Thursday night to dry our linens and realized that our neighborhood laundromat had closed. We were bummed out, headed home to line dry our goods, and crossed our fingers that the closing would only be temporary. A couple days later we learned it was a permanent closing. <poof> Our hearts sank as we googled the next closest laundromat and realized it was about 25 minutes away and required a bus or tram to get to.

We tired the new place once, but, even though it was much nicer than our former laundry mat, a 25-minute bus trip to dry towels just seemed ridiculous.

And then, about a week later, luck came to us in the happiest of ways. While sharing my disappointment over our return of hard and matted towels with a friend, and telling her that I really wished we had an apartment with dryer hook-ups, my sweet German friend turned to me and said, “you know you don’t need hook-ups for a dryer in Germany- just an outlet”.

Woah, wait- “What?” My life was now being turned upside down! I tried my best to stay calm in case that she was teasing me. She wasn’t! Apparently there are two types of dryers you can buy- and those called “condensation dryers” don’t need hook-ups (instead you must manually empty a water collector after ever load). I rushed home to share my news with my -also exuberant- husband and we began dreaming again of someday having our own dryer.

Fast-forward now a few weeks to the present. Today was Christmas. Short of delivering a healthy baby girl (still waiting for her to come!) it was one of the best days possible. I returned home from ladies bible study and sitting in the corner of my kitchen was a new and sparkling dryer. I knew that it was coming, but it still brought a HUGE smile to my face. We got a great deal. It’s not the most fancy, best quality, or most expensive models by any means, but it is an AEG energy-saving Electrolux machine (you know- the ones that Kelly Ripa does the commercials for in the US?), so I think that’s cool.  It got good reviews, and did a great job on it’s inaugural run this evening (we wasted no time in starting that sucker up!). So we are happy.

There’s this tradition in the US where new parents (usually the Dads, but sometimes the Moms too) buy a gift for their spouse after the birth of their baby. Drew and I aren’t participating in that tradition this time around. We also aren’t planning to buy each other Christmas gifts this year. And I’m not disappointed by those facts for one tiny bit. No sir, not at all. This year, we decided to forgo traditional gifts and buy ourselves a dryer. And with it we gain the gift of soft fluffy towels and better yet, time. We’ve gained two nights a month back into our schedule as it no longer requires both of us to carry our linens to the laundry mat every other week.  I can dry the towels whenever I want! And we are both just so happy about that. (Aren’t we nerds?)

Maxwell, taking advantage of his fresh-out-of-the-dryer-and-therefore-warm blanket, is also quite happy with our new purchase.

For the record, we still plan to hang dry our clothing items. It’s much cheaper and better for the environment, and, frankly not too much extra work. But towels and sheets, and probably the occasional baby item or two once parenthood begins, will be dried. At home. Sans trek in the snow in winter or mud in fall.

Ah, life is good. I’m feeling blessed.

As our little one’s due date approaches quickly, I thought I’d take a moment to address a few of the other differences between the US and Germany that we have discovered in preparing to welcome our little girl…

In the Nursery / Baby Gear:

-Changing tables in Europe are square, as opposed to the rectangle ones you find in the US.

-Just like adult beds, crib frames, mattresses, and bedding in Europe come in different (slightly smaller) sizes than you find in the US.

-Where hanging a mobile above the crib is typical in the US, hanging a canopy or “heaven” is more common in Germany. Drew and I opted for neither and put up a name banner instead.

-Strollers here are intense! Not only are they much much more expensive here than they are in the US (a mid-range stroller will set you back about 400-600 Euros!), they are also much larger and in general much more durable. I believe this is because of the fact that many people (us included) do without cars here, so a nicer quality stroller is necessary as it is the baby’s only wheeled transportation option.

-Germans believe that babies should lie flat in their stroller until they are 6 months old. Thus, most strollers comes with bassinet / pram attachments for newborn use rather than just a car seat. Car seats will also attach to a stroller frame, but are generally only used for the car.

-Baby Clothes in Germany are MUCH more expensive than they are in the US. Luckily for us, we figured this out early and have been able to have Drew purchase newborn clothing while in the US on work trips.

Labor and Delivery:

-The main difference here is that the women’s OB/GYN does not deliver the baby- babies delivered in the hospital are delivered by midwives. The midwife we will get will depend on whoever is working when I go into labor. (We are praying that this person speaks English- as we learned during our last stay, some do and others don’t). There is also a good chance we will have more than one midwife helping us with the delivery as the midwives typically work in 8-hour shifts. So that should be interesting!

-Although pain medication is available here, a much more natural approach is taken to childbirth in Germany. Alternative / homeopathic treatments such as a birthing tub, birthing ball, etc. are encouraged before pain meds are given out. (For the record, this mind-set goes along with my train of thinking anyways, so I have no problems with this and actually think this is a huge benefit of giving birth in Germany)

-It is typical to allow a women to go 2 weeks over her due date before inducing labor here. Even then, a more homeopathic induction (I’m told by a friend you must drink a seaweed-like drink) is tried first, before drugs are used to get things going. Really hoping this baby doesn’t stay in there long enough to get to experience this!

Hospital Stay:

-A typical hospital stay for a normal vaginal birth in Germany is 3 days. A stay after a C-section is at least 5 days.

-It is standard for women to share a postpartum hospital room with 1-3 other new mothers and their babies. Based on availability, you are also able to pay a per night fee to have a private or a family room, which allows the new Dad to stay the night. Drew and I are hoping there is a family room available for us to pay to have, otherwise we will deal with the situation as it unfolds itself.

-Rooming in is standard practice here. (Which is good but can be a challenge at night when there are 2-4 babies and mothers in the same room!) Babies only visit the nursery if there is a problem, or for brief periods of time if the mom needs to shower, and other family isn’t there to care for the baby, etc.

-There are no official visiting hours. Visitors are able to show up as invited by the family. In my opinion, this can be both good and bad.

-There is no wheel chair to the curb service or mandatory car seat checks required by the hospital. When they say you can go home- you walk yourself and baby out!

Aftercare:

-Women with the standard German health insurance are entitled to midwife services free of charge after they come home from the hospital. The midwife will visit the new mom and baby at home to check on things / answer any questions / weigh the baby. Usually there are about 10 of these visits in the first month or so after the birth. As great as this sounds, unfortunately Drew and I are not eligible for this service, as our private insurance for guest scientists and their families will not cover it. (Well, I should rephrase that to say that if we want this service, we can have it, but must pay out of pocket for it and it isn’t cheap).

——–

I’m sure there are many more differences that could be discussed, but that’s all I can think of for now!

We checked off another one of our 2011 GOALs while we were in China last month.

This GOAL read:

-Go on a formal “dress-up” date (defined by Drew wearing his 3-piece suit).

We planned a date out to see the famous Peking Opera and it provided the perfect occasion for us to dress up!

Unfortunately, all of the photos of us from the evening turned out to be pretty bad quality. Nevertheless, here’s one of the best ones…

 Have a great weekend!

Drew brought home a surprise from the grocery store last week. Little did he know that, after I translated the directions on his surprise, it would provoke… a competition!

The contenders:

One very pregnant blogger. Expect to birth one baby girl sometime around Dec. 2nd.

One Pregnant Pinecone. According to the instructions it is expected to split open and "birth" up to 100 pinenuts sometime around 6 weeks after purchase. There are even instructions on how to induce labor if it takes longer than that. Woah.

We purchased the pinecone a week ago so at this point it should only have 5 weeks left before its little ones arrive. And- considering that I’m currently 35 weeks pregnant, that puts our “due dates” right on top of each other!

So I say- bring it on pinecone! Let the race to labor and delivery begin!

Care to cast any bets on the “blogger vs. pinecone- who will birth first” race?

Only time will tell!

I sewed the final stitches this week.

And now it just sit there, waiting for her to arrive.

The first quilt or large sewing project of any type I’ve ever attempted, it’s perfect in absolutely no way at all. But like it’s creator, who is also full of flaws and imperfections, it is filled with love for the little girl who will someday soon call it her own.

I can’t wait to meet you little one!

Love,

~mom